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Finality
by blake Thursday, Dec 21 2017, 5:07am
international / poetry / post

when everything i have valued is shattered,
and in pieces scattered around me
u remain standing pristine before me
shining brighter than the morning star,
u are always there, tho at times buried beneath
my foolishness and follies

the pain of apparent loss is removed by ur remaining,
enduring presence, nothing is able to move or remove
u from my life

u stand reminding me of the impermanence
and futility of pursuing learned, vacuous, cultural values,
u were there before i knew myself
comforting me in my bleakest hours
supporting me when events and tortures
became unbearable

and so u stand before me now,
waiting, i know why
but surely u know me better than i know myself
i am conscious of my folly and weaknesses
but always fall victim and enter again
into the jeweled and perfumed chambers of worldly delights
i am only human, but u stand reminding me i am also
something other, something indestructible, impervious to the poisons,
lies and troubles of this world, the sheer insanity of it all

i know why u never abandon me,
such love and dedication is beyond all mortal comprehension
yet i also know that it is u who forever destroys my mortal delights and comforts,
which losses always trigger my fall into the pit of bitter experience, pain and suffering
tho u know that there’s nothing really gained or lost except
false values, phantoms and allures designed to ensnare unwary souls

i have sought u all my life and after discovering ur presence
i turned my back on ur enduring truth and peace
but it was u that created me for reasons now known to me,
in order that another of ur children would awaken to ur enduring, inviolable
truth and Love, that u too would know urself thru me and find ur release

my God u are exasperating, tho i must accept full responsibility
as it is my folly that drags me from ur conscious presence
and only after u have destroyed everything that veils ur presence
am i forced to confront u and my stupidity again

neither of us have a choice, u would always remove all obstacles
and i would always learn hard, we are bound until one of us
relents and i know it would never be u, as u were before i was,
my jealous God

in fact u are more bound than me but bound to perfection
and it is my imperfections u burn away in the furnace of my folly

and so i have a choice, i would surrender to ur unity, harmony and peace
and allow u to annihilate the last vestiges of my separate false identity,
u see, i also know that i am you in essence -- there is and can only be One
continuous, perfect Reality