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Secret Kangaroo Weapons Test Successful -- Petrol Tanker Erupts into Flames
by piper Sunday, Sep 30 2012, 12:29am
international / prose / post

A new 'terrorist' weapon tested in Australia has exceeded all expectations after its initial test.

A bionic Kangaroo placed among wild members of its genus, separated from a pack grazing by the side of the road and maneouvered itself into position as a (target) tanker approached. The roo then suicide-jumped under the carriage.

Normally roos only smear the highway when this occurs; however, the bionic, terrorist Kangaroo, complete with explosive incendiary device in its pouch, triggered its payload and the tanker erupted into flames and was completely destroyed.

The next scheduled field tests will involve marsupial possums, which have a reputation for gaining access to secure buildings by crawling into ceilings via difficult to access crevices and other small gaps.

Once in position a cannister of deadly nerve gas will be released from the possum's pouch and make short work of incompetent senior bureaucrats and our servile (to Washington) treasonous politicians in Canberra.

We cannot stress enough the very 'real nature' of the terrorist threat the US created in order to pursue its Imperial agenda; Aussies, always willing to help, have gone one better with new, fanatical, suicide marsupials.

Now go back to sleep you wine-imbibing, beer-swilling Aussie morons -- the government is taking 'very good' care of you -- has today's script from Washington arrived yet?

Mass media report follows:

Tanker hits kangaroo, erupts in flames 3km south of Nagambie in Victoria
by Erin Marie

A MAN has escaped unscathed after his tanker carrying 50,000 litres of fuel hit a kangaroo and erupted into flames this morning.

The fuel-laden B-Double – containing diesel and unleaded petrol – has forced the closure of the Goulburn Valley Hwy after striking the wayward animal 3km south of Nagambie at 5.20am.

Authorities are determining how the sole occupant of the vehicle, a 58-year-old Williamstown man, managed to move the tanker off the highway - away from both lanes of traffic - and escape the cabin unharmed before it became engulfed by flames.

Traffic is being advised to avoid the area and take the Hume Fwy to by-pass the blockage.

CFA crews, flanked by 16 fire fighting vehicles, battled for more than an hour to extinguish the blaze this morning, however the site is not expected to be cleared before 6pm as crews worked to decant the excess fuel from the tanker.

CFA duty officer Shane Sutton said the blaze was believed to have sparked when the kangaroo became entwined with the truck's pipes and caused sparks to flicker onto its front wheel.

"We believe the driver's looked in the rear vision mirror, seen the fire and somehow managed to pull over, although he wouldn't have got very far with a tyre blow out,'' he said.

"As far as we can tell the ignition was triggered when the tyre's blown out.''

He said the man had also attempted to douse the flames with a fire extinguisher without success.

Victoria Police spokeswoman Jessica Rosewarne said the man's attempt to move the vehicle off the main roadway was "precautionary'' and may have been inspired from driver training.

"We don't know how far he's moved it off the road, but the fire has ignited and spread very quickly,'' she said.

"The driver's noticed a fire and decided to drive the truck away (from the road) as a precaution.''

Members from WorkSafe Victoria also attended the scene.

© 2012 News Limited

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