Regrets None
by troy Monday, Jun 17 2013, 10:59am
international / poetry / post

.

i have no regrets
none whatsoever --
u know i’m lying
not a life was lived
without regrets

legend has it Buddha
had many and those
of Christ are recorded
in sweat and blood

but to clarify
it is not what i have done,
good, bad or indifferent,
that i regret
it is the many lost opportunities
those irreplaceable moments
glances, smiles and lost chances
pledges, devotions ignored
attractions not pursued,
love abandoned by oversight,
yesterday gnaws at today
in this manner

offers rejected for no ‘good reason’
(another lie)
now haunting me, why didn’t i ….?
my omissions now form my prison
my inaction, my wardens
my callousness and disregard
hold me captive

soft watery eyes
pleading,
hearts flooded with
love confronting my desolation,
genuine willingness to
sacrifice everything
for one such as me,
a reprobate not worth
a pinch of shit

but the worst of it
is my personal failure to
utilise my full
potential to manifest all
that was given
or earned in
previous lives

impaled by my own hand
my crucifixion
stalks me like a shadow

it was easy to succeed
(without the need to exploit all my talents)
in a world populated by
retards, the unexceptional

where were those that excelled
to challenge and set higher standards?
my failure fits my crime

today i am surrounded by damaged goods
the severely disturbed, the
timid, fearful
and miserable,
the entire company
not measuring to the toes
of those that offered themselves
unconditionally

i drop a pebble into the well
of my current life
it has not reached bottom yet